How Do I Love Thee ... ?

All the books and knowing mothers in the world didn’t prepare me for the overwhelming, all-consuming love I feel for this squirmy, adorable little man I birthed 4 months ago. I never wanted to be a mom when I was growing up, in part because I just never really liked kids. To tell the truth, I still don’t. Children are fine on a case-by-case basis, one at a time. But I was never the girl who got all googly-eyed at the prospect of a houseful of kids. Then Henry was born, and all my non-maternal instincts flew right out the window.

I, who cherish sleep like some women cherish chocolate, cheerfully hop out of bed before sunrise every morning to feed and comfort the newest love of my life. I, who am so uncomfortable with "bodily unpleasantries" that Elvis never even heard me pee until after we were married, have been messed on now more times than I can count. I’ve cleaned Henry’s bodily waste off of clothes, bedding, furniture, my own hair & skin, and – once – the wall (the kid has great aim. I’m so proud). I, who am completely skeeved out by feet, worship and kiss the pudgy little toes of my child, loving each precious piggy individually with an intensity I couldn’t have imagined even 6 months ago.

I never thought I could love another person so wholeheartedly, so unreservedly. I always want to be next to him, enjoying his smile, inhaling his sweet baby smells, and kissing his perfect upturned nose. I wake up in the night, wishing it were permissible to wake him up and hold him, just to see that toothless grin spread across his face at me and feel his sleepy body curl against mine.

He changed my life completely in a single moment, simply by being. Talk about a miracle!