Wednesday, July 31, 2013

that BITCH!

*I don't know if people other than my family read this, but if they do, I feel I should warn you: this is (hopefully) the last unpleasant incident in a long, painful story with a lot of unresolved anger.  I always try to remain upbeat, but this has been the only thing I can think of since it happened.  Please bear with this family mini-drama, and I promise lots more stories of sweet family moments and cute photos of my adorable 2 year old (OMG, 2???).  Love & sunshine, Sarah

PS: I hope you watch Arrested Development, and got a chuckle from my Lucille 2 reference.  If not, get Netflix and clear the next possible weekend.  You've got some TV to watch.


Many of us have crazy exes, don't we?  I guess my worst isn't that bad, but I think this is a topic we can all relate to.  Of all the crazy exes I've ever seen, my brother's ex-girlfriend Andrea is easily the craziest.  To be fair, she was clearly a psycho bitch before they met, as the first thing she said to me when we met was that she does a spectacular fake orgasm that fools everyone.  Just what your boyfriend's sister wants to hear.  She put David (and - frankly - the rest of us) through hell for 3 years with her petty, jealous, immature, controlling, cheating and manipulative ways.  She crashed my wedding and made out with an usher after dating my precious brother for all of 8 days.  She "attempted" suicide (sorry, but 3 Tylenol do not a serious attempt make) twice to avoid losing arguments.  After my miscarriage she posted a status on Facebook announcing her delight that she wouldn't have to pretend to care about yet another baby.  I mean, she was a total, vicious bitch.  It was clear to everyone that they were both miserable for most of their relationship, but they were absolutely determined to carry on like a normal couple.  I did my best to keep my opinions to myself and stay out of their business.  It hurt me so much to see my brother hurting, but all I could do was be a supportive listener.  When they finally broke up in 2010 everyone was elated.  Finally, David got some sense.
When Henry was born she felt the need to compliment him on my FB wall.  I never responded (she had to have wanted something; she never missed an opportunity to remind everyone that she hated kids.  Probably because they can sense evil) and I should've just un-friended her then.  But I was sure I'd never hear from her again/unsure exactly how to un-friend someone, so I never took the time.
Yesterday I returned hom from an early morning doctor's appointment (more on that later) to find I had a message on the good old Facebook.  I didn't notice who it was from at first, and it took me about 3 sentences to realize.  It was the long-silent Andrea, stirring up old troubles.  She informed me that she's getting married next month (ahh, there it is.  Right up front this time), blamed her current problems on a relationship that's been over for 3 years, instructed me never to contact her, and to tell my "monster" of a brother to "go f*ck himself."  Classy to the last.
I was stunned for a few moments, and then shook with rage for about half an hour.  It felt like she'd walked into my bedroom and slapped my face, it was so unexpected and so very hostile.  Even now I can feel my face scrunch with anger and distaste.  Blech.  Anyway, that's when I noticed the message was from "Facebook User."  A quick search confirmed my suspicion: she had vented her misplaced rage on me and then vanished.  I'm sure she thought it was a clever move, but she didn't think far enough ahead to make her precious fiance disappear as well.  I really did not want to get involved with her again, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let her trash my family. I thought it over and sent the fiance a very concise and painfully honest letter that included an objective truth: these two were toxic and they hurt one another terribly.  She was far from an angel, despite how I'm sure she told the story.  So I also included several incidents which led me to douby her character, maturity, capacity for fidelity, and sincerity.  I really hope his friends have warned the guy, but if not I felt it was my duty.  He's in the Air Force for crying out loud, and every brave man and woman in our military deserves better than that. 
So, ladies and gentlemen, here are some important lessons:
1. If you absolutely must provoke someone in a cowardly fashion like this, at least have the guts to face the response.
2. Do not, under any circumstances, underestimate the bonds of sibling affection.
3. Comport yourself with dignity after a breakup.  A sore loser is unpleasant, but a sore winner just needs to be knocked down a peg or two.

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